The grief of losing the chance to have baby is something she expects to carry forever, but she says she is becoming more comfortable with the unconventional life she is building with April.These are her words.I've always had this image of myself pregnant.I didn't have a particular timeline I'm still adjusting to the reality of not carrying my own child.Sometimes I think when my biological clock gets past a certain age, I might feel better with my sense of grief.When I retired from sport at 26 because of a chronic injury, what helped grieving that career was turning a certain age when I didn't think I'd be playing anymore anyway.I'm just going to trust as the years go by, I'll still hold some level of grief, but that April and I are continuing to create a life that is right for us.Time has been helpful