There was no joy in anything, ever.The psychiatrist told me that I probably wouldn't be able to be pregnant and not be on antidepressants.But I didn't want to be on the medication forever, so I stopped taking it about seven months before I fell pregnant.And my pregnancy was great.Birth was not terrible, but not as good as you could hope for.I was very sick for a couple of hours after birth, so I didn't have that nice bonding time of breastfeeding and cuddling the baby.On day three, I woke up and just felt that heaviness like I'd had before with depression.I knew that you can have day-three baby blues, but it felt really bad.I did not feel a bond with her.I didn't feel that rush of love they say that you feel when you give birth I felt more protectiveness over her.I was sad about the fact that I wasn't feeling that connection, and then I felt guilty about that.I remember we were driving when she was three weeks old